Sometimes I Think About Dying

**By: Louisa Moore / www.ScreenZealots.com** I really love “Sometimes I Think About Dying,” director Rachel Lambert‘s low-key, melancholy character piece about a socially awkward woman who has an unmet desire for human connection. The unhurried pacing and measured storytelling may be challenging for some viewers, but this little film that seems to be about nothing is actually rooted in depth and has a keen understanding of what it feels like to suffer with crippling social awkwardness. Living in a small coastal town on the dreary Oregon coast, Fran (Daisy Ridley) spends much of her time alone and often daydreams about dying. She works at a drab office and quietly observes her more outgoing coworkers as they chat with each other and go about their daily routines. She describes herself as “not very interesting,” is quiet and reserved, isn’t very sociable, has no friends, and mostly keeps to herself. This shyness is often mistaken for aloofness, and most everyone steers clear of any interactions with her. Things change when the friendly and slightly awkward Robert (Dave Merheje) starts a job at the company, and he takes an interest in Fran. She’s afraid to give friendship a chance, but there’s something different about him that may just make Robert the first person whom she allows to really get to know her. There isn’t a whole lot of plot, but Lambert manages to keep her film compelling. Her storytelling style is highly detailed, which gives a warmth to the bleak tone. Nothing feels forced. Lambert paints a dreary portrait of humanity, but does so with wit, style, charm, and humor. There’s so much subtlety in what’s left unspoken, and the film shows us Fran’s professional and personal life, but never tells us what to feel. The film is well cast from top to bottom, including Parvesh Cheena, Marcia DeBonis, and Megan Stalter, who add a lot of amusement as Fran’s office mates, and Merheje and Ridley feel charmingly authentic. Right down to her body language, from avoiding eye contact to a slouched posture when her character is feeling uncomfortable, Ridley wholly embodies what it must feel like to be Fran. It’s a skilled, effective performance, and one with few spoken words. It may sound like a hard sell to sit through a movie that’s focused on a lead character who suffers from severe social anxiety, but “Sometimes I Think About Dying” is a good, simple story that’s told well. It’s a captivating film that gracefully expresses the need for human connection while being unable to rid yourself of debilitating melancholia.

Rachel Lambert's "Sometimes I Think About Dying" exists in that peculiar liminal space between captivating and tedious—a film rescued from its own narrative thinness by extraordinary performances and meticulous visual storytelling. Daisy Ridley's Fran is a masterclass in minimalist acting. As an office worker whose interior life dwarfs her external expression, Ridley communicates volumes through microexpressions and body language. A slight shift in posture, a barely perceptible eye movement—these become seismic emotional events in Ridley's hands. Dave Merheje's Robert provides the perfect counterbalance, his extroverted warmth creating a gravitational pull that both attracts and terrifies Fran. Lambert's direction shines in her visual translation of introversion. The camera often observes Fran from above or at a distance, perfectly capturing both her self-consciousness and her remove from the world around her. These compositions aren't just aesthetically interesting; they're emotional architecture, building a visual language for the invisible experience of social anxiety. The Oregon coast setting, with its perpetual gray skies and misty landscapes, becomes less a backdrop than an extension of Fran's inner weather. The region's gloomy beauty provides perfect environmental shorthand for a character whose mind constantly drifts toward darkness despite moments of startling beauty. What prevents the film from reaching greatness is its meandering screenplay. Scenes linger past their natural conclusion, and the narrative occasionally loses momentum, particularly in the second half. Yet there's something almost appropriate about this pacing—introversion itself isn't efficient or economical, but measured and cautious. "Sometimes I Think About Dying" isn't making grand philosophical statements about the human condition or the nature of introvert-extrovert attraction. It's simply observing one specific connection with uncommon visual intelligence and performance depth. The film's power lies not in what it says but in how attentively it watches.

"Fran" (Daisy Ridley) likes to keep herself to herself. She's very much on the periphery of things at work and goes home to her favourite cottage cheese and bed by 10.15 most evenings. The arrival of "Robert" (Dave Merheje) shakes things up a little when his request for some office provisions leads to a trip to the cinema to see "Departure" (2015). Though it could never be described as racy, what now ensues watches the two get a little close and a better acquainted. She reveals to him that as she looks from her cubicle window at the huge cranes loading and unloading the ships, she imagines herself swinging from one of them - and not in the way a child might! A chance meeting with the recently retired "Carol" (Marcia DeBonis) in a diner might help "Fran" recalibrate her priorities though! This is a far cry from anything Ridley has done thus far, and shows her as an actor of considerable versatility. The writing works quite well here, too. Sparingly used between the main characters but more plentifully used to illustrate the banal nature of her life at work - especially with boss "Isobel" (Megan Stalter) who has verbal diarrhoea in just about every way you can imagine. The story takes quite an interesting look at those (slightly) later in life who are in a rut and content to remain so but I'm afraid this whole scenario doesn't really make for gripping cinema. Indeed, at times the director seems content to leave us with only the superficial glimpse of the characters and together with the bleak and dull nature of the lighting, creates an ennui all of it's own. It's not so much that nothing really happens, it's that I wasn't really bothered either way if it did or didn't. The whole thing is all just a bit too lacklustre. It's fine, this film, but not much more.