F9

**CAN YOU SAY, ER ... " BADASS-EST " 😅 💥❓ ... { THIS IS A SEMI PARODICAL TITLE } .** A "Good, Old Fashioned" **-{ _B I G_ }-** Screen Review . ______________________________________________________ Letty Ortiz: "Hi, little Brian. I have a gift for you. Your Daddy gave me this, & now I'm going to give it to you. It's very Special { Letty takes off her necklace & puts it around Brian's neck } ...it's for protection... from what's coming" . ______________________________________________________ First & foremost, -{ Not Only }- is this undeniable "behemoth" of a movie, with its USD 200 Million -plus- production budget, broadly speaking, **-{ GENUINELY ✅ }-** enjoyable; but it is -Also- "rather surprisingly", and very reassuringly so . . . " relatively " . . . -very- Family Friendly, indeed. As a doting -{ _P a r e n t_ }- , I had, to be very honest, expected -Considerably- worse; given what the 'seemingly standard trend' with Blockbuster-fare ( on -this- magnitude, atleast ) is, in this... 'our pretty, darn reckless' ..day and age . Moreover, I just **-{ LOVE 👏 }-** how the movie ...unreservedly... -not only- "laughs out loud" -{ at itself }- of course , but often -Also- seems like it's having a 'rollicking good time' doing it. For -all- the 'Contrarian'-reviewers on a very similar platform to this known as 'IMDb' { that appear absolutely -Bent- on picking this fairly "lighthearted" & essentially **" PLAYFUL "** picture apart for just about 'every conceivable reason under the sun' }: I have -just- 3 'Profound' words to say to you: "Watch It Again". Because that is -just- what I did, & I ended up enjoying it -{ way }- more the second time around ; managing to, on the one hand, clear up -Several- of my initial doubts... & on the other ; to -{ truly }- appreciate how ( actually ) "Un"-seriously ..."F9" really takes itself. Keep your eye out for the tiny but absolutely -{ hilarious❗}- little "Who's Dominic Toretto?" scene ; you'll get a better feel for what I mean. But let me be .."Starkly".. clear. -{ In no way }- is my review title meant to suggest to you, -even remotely- , that this is somehow 'the best cinematic offering on earth' right now, or -any- such manner of preposterous thing. The pointed -{ reason }- , as it were, for my use of the -decidedly- " Lively " , Benignly Parodical, & even "mildly histrionic" , film review -Title- that you see above, is, quite simply , 'as follows' . ----- " It's a well known fact by now that the -{ Ever }- grandiose pictures of the 'Fast And Furious' franchise seem to -forever- be looking to " One Up Themselves " , in terms of making their vehicular ( in particular ) action sequences -{ well and truly }- " One-Of-A-Kind " . In keeping with this 'practically-Sacrosanct ( 🙏 😅 )' , time honoured tradition . . . . F9's very accomplished 'In-house' writer-Director Justin Lin has ( -Yet- ) again proven that he most certainly is the very 'living embodiment' of this rule, by taking those wild & wacky ( bespoke ) 'Gas-Guzzler Gymnastics' of his all the way , you guessed it , to -{ Outer Space }- . . . . not to mention all the -many, many- other ( almost ) as utterly, utterly, utterly '_Ludacris_' stunts performed ...seemingly as if... 'by all those Mega-fancy automobiles themselves'. ( Watch the final -official- trailer for F9 , if it's still going to be a while before said movie hits your part of the world ). So there you have it. Hence that 'affectionate little touch' of, well , " Classic-hyperbole " , in my review-Title . " ----- And so, in closing, here are the things I consider to be the -{ Most }- likeable, about the picture. 1 : The ever-fresh, ever-sweet rapport that 'Dominic Toretto' ( Vin Diesel ) has with 'Letty Ortiz' ( Michelle Rodriguez ). 2 : The { Un }-deniable " Brilliance 🌠 " , really , with which -Several- mind bogglingly complex, & indeed, 'super-Protracted' multiple vehicle chase & combat scenes were put together. 3 : -All- those "giant-Magnet special effects", ( this is -Also- teased in the trailers, which are freely available to watch on youtube ), meticulously crafted to, frankly, ".nothing less than sheer -{ Perfection }- " . 4 : The film's -{ Delectable }- smattering of short, nonetheless utterly -Classic- " Movie-Reincarnation sequences " . Meaning . . . { action or comedy ( or both ) 'Re-works' of -Well- established , ( & often beloved, even ) , " Universally Iconic Cinematic-moments " } . . . which in the case of F9 ...{ Un }-mistakably... were sequences that hearkened -Right- back to a few ( very ) specific, timeless, & -Massively- popular scenes from A : 'Jurrasic Park-Part One', B : 'Terminator Three-Rise Of The Machines' ( **-OR-** 'The Dark Knight' : your prefererence, really ), & C : 'Austin Powers-Part One', -even- , just to name the ( Most 💙 ) notable ones. 5 : And last but by no means the least : there really -{ Was }- a whole lot of -actually- funny stuff in F9. And I am, -of course- referring here to -Very- many moments of "Unabashedly-Dumb Frivolity" involving , ( but not limited to ) ; none other than the " Uber-talented " Tyrese Gibson, ( 'Roman' ), & his -equally- Fun partner-in-comedy, Ludacris ( 'Tej' ) ; with the ever charming Nathalie Emmanuel ( 'Ramsey' ) chiming in 'most pleasantly' from time to time, for good measure . Summary : If you -{ Didn't }- come to F9 to see cars flying in, well, -outer space- , ( and other such " _Colossally_ " Zany-things ) , then you -most certainly- came to the wrong place. { Translation } : if you're ( one of those ) the -'Many, Many'- ( aforementioned ) negative-reviewers, and feel like you were ( -better- ) suited to simply watching 'Normal' cars just driving around, well... 'Normally' ...& -{ Not }- doing a multitude of "crazy & extraordinary" things ; then can I -very humbly- recommend, say, ....going & sitting down at a nearby bus-stop, & watching 'The Street'.... -{ Instead }- . Because, 'for better or worse', -this- movie does -{ Exactly }- what it says on the tin , " & Then Some " . Furthermore, the two -Main- Male "Lead-pairs", namely, A : Vin Diesel and John Cena ; and B : Vinnie Bennett and Finn Cole, ( a.k.a 'Young Dom', and 'Young Jakob' ), play -{ remarkably }- well off one another ; whilst -All- the "Leading Ladies" plunge headfirst into this veritable, **-{ MINDLESS }-** Fun-Fest , " With A Vengeance " . So it's going to be a generous, -{ "Very Grateful" }- , and decidedly " pandemic-Considerate " 7.75 Marks Out Of 10.00 from me. Well, only one thing left to say, then. **" _I G N I T I O N_ 😅❗ " .**

You know a franchise has run out of ideas when it sends its characters to space. "As long as we obey the laws of physics, then we'll be fine," Tej Parker (Ludacris) tells Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson) as the two prepare to literally drive a car offworld — an odd statement, considering it might be the first time in nine movies that they even acknowledge physics and the laws that govern it. F9 is no exception. Right off the bat, Roman finds himself in a predicament that even Wile E. would find preposterous. Following a miraculous escape, Roman begins to suspect what Cipher (Charlize Theron) seems to already know; that they are all characters in an action movie. Sadly, the film doesn't pursue this direction which would be far more interesting than the Long Lost Brother tale it settles for. It turns out that Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) has a brother, Jakob (John Cena). Like the laws of physics, Dom had never let on that this brother ever even existed. Thus, we get a series of expository flashbacks to provide some background for this new character; you know, so that it doesn’t appear as if they just pulled him out of fucking nowehere. These trips down amnesia lane are what truly sinks the movie. F9 uses the format popularized by The Godfather Part II, in which Al Pacino plays Michael Corleone in the 'present' and Robert De Niro plays Vito Corleone in extended flashbacks. Now, Diesel and Cena are no Pacino or De Niro, but they are two unique individuals endowed with clearly defined personalities and who happen to ooze charisma and self-confidence. In comparison, the actors who play their younger versions are such non-entities that they almost make a good case for digital de-aging (almost). As a result of this, F9 loses all the momentum it has gathered in the contemporary scenes every time it looks back. Moreover, Cena is too obviously a Red Herring; there's a reason he played a 'heroic' character in WWE for roughly 15 years, and it's because he couldn't be a convincing villain even if his life depended on it. Meanwhile, skilled performers like Kurt Russell, Shea Whigham, Michael Rooker, and Helen Mirror are wasted in peripheral roles (not to mention Theron, who spends most of her screen time literally locked inside a transparent box, leaving us to wonder what she does when she has to go to the bathroom), the filmmakers seemingly operating under the impression that they must perforce make room for each and every character who has ever made an appearance at some point in the series. Apart from those already mentioned, we briefly see Lucas Black, Don Omar, Bow Wow, Jason Tobin, Gal Gadot, and Jason Statham in a cameo during the closing credits (unseen by me because once the credits roll, I’m outta there). About the only exception is of course Paul Walker (but not, as one might have reasonably expected, the one who had supposedly died in an explosion in a previous installment), whose character, from what we hear, has been reduced to babysitting Dom's son and his own. Is that the true Fate of the Furious?

After being delayed from a summer 2020 release by the Pandemic; Universal has released the latest film in the Fast and The Furious franchise to fans eager for some adrenaline-fueled summer action. “F9 The Fast Saga” has done well in the few countries it has already been released, and has raced to a nearly $300 million total which the industry hopes is a signal that people are ready to return to cinemas in numbers again and that the film will take off when it opens in the U.S. and other markets. The film opens with a flashback to the 1980s where young Dominic and his brother experience an event that changes their lives and drives a wedge between them. Moving forward to the present day, Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), are living in seclusion with Dom’s son. When the crew shows up unexpectedly with a mission from Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell); who has gone missing, the crew venture out to retrieve a missing device which in turn puts them directly in the path with nefarious individuals and a ghost from Dom’s past. As anyone who has watched any films in the series knows; the plots are often thin and a bit absurd as they serve simply as a device for the cast to assemble and chase a McGuffin to save the day. In doing so; the audience knows there will be an abundance of fists, bullets, cars, crashes, and outrageous stunts along the way. While reality and credibility are not words associated with the franchise, the cast eagerly plays along with the absurdity, action, and mayhem and gives fans what they want. While the middle portion dragged while the audience was given more of the setup and introduced to cast members old and new; the action sequences are the over-the-top show stoppers which have become a staple of the franchise. Director Justin Lin knows this and his return to the franchise does not attempt to invoke any new wrinkles and gives fans what they expect. The large ensemble works well with one another and John Cena is a very interesting addition to the cast. Audiences will want to make sure to stay seated for a bonus scene that sets up the next film or spin-off very well and opens up some very interesting possibilities. In the end “F9 The Fast Saga” gives audiences a dose of high-octane adrenaline and a return to no-brainer over the top action when it is needed the most. Check your brain at the door, strap in, and enjoy the ride. 3.5/5